has etiquette left the party?

hello my dears. i hope you had a wonderful long weekend. i know i did, i got in some relaxation, hang time with friends and family and some much needed bikram yoga...oh yeah, and i watched the latest sex and the city movie. and so for today's post, in true carrie bradshaw style, i need to ask, "has etiquette left the party?"

i bring up the subject of etiquette because in the past week, one of my closest friends has experienced the complete opposite of etiquette if you ask me. and i'm no etiquette police, believe me. i grew up in the west and now west coast and laid-back is definitely our style of living and i like it that way. but these latest occurences are so tacky that even i can't take any more.

offense #1 occurred after said friend attended a destination wedding for her east coast friends in the dominican republic. when this particular group of people were invited to the wedding, it was clearly stated that no showers or gifts were expected, only the presence of their dearest friends. well most people, my friend included, still opted to give a little something as a gift. however, one couple in particular, who had just recently gained a baby and lost an income chose not to give a gift as they had spent more than their fair share to attend the wedding. a few weeks after the wedding, the groom texted the guest asking if something was missing from their card. as i type this, i hear in my head a loud record scratching and somebody saying, "wait, go back..did you just say he asked what happened to his gift?". oh yes he did! is this what our generation has come to? i'm not saying we are all like this but come on, so not ok. if you expect guests to pay thousands of dollars to fly down in the middle of the year to attend your blessed day, not to mention tell them no gifts are necessary, then you by no means ask what happened to the money that should have been in their card. am i wrong here?

offense #2 followed up this latest offense to the very same friend when a girlfriend of hers emailed her to let her know a party was being thrown for her girlfriend's signicant others' 40th birthday. in this email, girlfriend stated that she would like various guests to bring food in which she assigned them a particular dish to bring based on the theme of the party. my friend's dish is taco rolls and her girlfriend included a link to the recipe and noted that there would be approximately 40 guests at the party so to be sure and double the recipe. are you kidding me? i have thrown many a party and i would never, ever dare to ask someone to bring a dish to feed 40 people!

is this what we have come down to? if you cannot deal with the consequences of the possibility that you may not a. receive a wedding gift or b. cater your own party, then perhaps you should rethink your plans. maybe i'm still a little old fashioned in that way.

image courtesy of mad men